Why Worrying About Everyone Else is Causing You to Age Faster, and How to Make Yourself a Priority

November 17, 2016

 

Aging and Dying Faster for the Perception of Perfection

 

We are women and we worry. We overthink and stress out about everything because we are dying to be perfect. Literally aging and dying at a faster rate so we can appear to be brilliant mystical shooting stars among ordinary balls of gas. Impossible!

 

You don't have to suffer this way, but let me explain for a moment what happens if you do. 

 

Our cells can't handle it so they shrivel up and die faster than normal, or start regenerating too fast and give us cancer. This is a far to basic explanation. I recommend reading "What Stress Can Do To Your Body" on Dr. Steven Sinatra's website, Heart MD Institute. 

 

Perfection is Ridiculous 

 

Perfection is not easily won. That’s right. Perfection is a ridiculous notion. A game, of sorts, that nobody can win.

 

You are not going to reach that triple black diamond gold star level because it simply doesn’t exist. There's success and then there's unhealthy unattainable expectations of yourself. 110% of your maximum efforts are physically and mentally impossible to achieve. Believing that it is attainable is contributing to the health crisis in North America.

 

See Michael Moore’s Where to Invade Next for a comparison of North America’s health crisis to that of other countries. I'm pretty sure it's still hanging around on Netflix. 

 

Unattainable Image of Womanhood and Caregiver 

 

It’s a grueling battle we are constantly measured by, which feels like running a marathon backwards.

 

 

An unattainable image of womanhood and motherhood. If we can’t be perfect, we are pretending to be at next week’s book club. Only those in our trustworthy inner circle know the last time our baseboards were cleaned (if ever in the last year), unless you are lucky enough to hire a cleaning captain. 

 

The thing is, nobody notices, but we think that they will as soon as they walk in the front door. 

 

It’s a pointless argument really. You may nod your head yes to everything I say, you may even want to hug me (I love hugs). But that won’t change the fact that you worry, a lot, about everything and everyone. At the end of a long day your brain won’t shut off and magically stop stressing about the ridiculous list of things you must do tomorrow, not for you, but for everyone else in your life. It’s a rewarding job, a thankless job, an exhausting job, and someone must do it.

 

The Issue with Oversharing 

 

Even at meetings and outings with friends you share your concerns over little Johnny’s B average and his infuriating stubbornness. Your friends nod in agreement, but stare blankly at you thinking, “I really have other things to worry about. I thought we were here for some fun.”

 

 

It’s not that they don’t care, but they have their own shit to deal with.

 

Yet we can’t help but spew our gobbledygook all over everyone else, because it’s eating away at our insides. Letting it all out feels so damn good for brief moment in time. Until reality sets in and we remember that just talking about it wasted precious time we should have been planning our trip to Pluto.

 

Just one small step for (wo)man kind.

 

The Insidiousness of Guilt

 

These horrid thoughts are followed by guilt and more worry about, gasp, what these people must think of you.  

 

Oh goodness I’m exhausted already and the sun hasn’t even poked her head up.  

 

When was the last time you woke up and had 30 minutes to yourself?

 

Have you tried carving out personal time for fitness, like downloading the latest quick fix fitness app, such as Emily Skye’s (love her), which has an incredible built in reward system earning you free stuff the more you stick to your plan? Is it working for you?

 

How many times have you cancelled on your friends, trainer, yoga teacher, etc. because something else was more important or suddenly came up? Lowering yourself in priority equal to that of medieval town peasants.

 

Don't Stop Giving 

 

Being the strong, reliable and empowered woman that you are is a huge part of what makes you incredible. It’s why I admire you, but also why I want to help you and support you.

 

Be More With Less Effort 

 

You can be so much more (happy, relaxed, focused, successful, peaceful, youthful, energetic, etc.) with less effort and strain. I want to power you up so you won’t run out of juice before you’ve accomplished everything you’ve always wanted, beyond the daily grind.

 

 

Make YOU a Priority Too

 

What I want is for you to make YOU a priority too. And creating an easy and effective wellness plan you can stick to is one way to stop bothering others with your problems and to start taking care of your own.

 

Let’s talk about being selfish.

 

Worrying About and Taking Care of Yourself is NOT Selfish.

 

It’s time you start asking for help. Delegate. If you don’t have anyone to delegate to, start building a support network.

 

You won’t get the help you need unless you ask for it, or take it. Demand it. Start saying no to requests that infringe on your personal you time.

 

I like to think of it this way, if you put yourself in a position to do something for someone that you’ll later regret, complain about, or feel panicked about because it pushed back your timeline, say no. And don’t feel guilty about it. That’s probably the hardest part, but once you start saying no, it’ll get easier. I promise.

 

Vanity Can Be a Good Thing Occasionally 

 

As much as we try to hide our vanity, it does matter to a certain extent. How we look is a reflection of our health. Darwin would have agreed.

 

Worry Ages You Before Your Time

 

It makes you look and feel ragged. Raggedy Anne was a great costume once, but not a look I’d want to wear every day.

 

According to Britta Aragon, safe cosmetics expert, author and entrepreneur in her article Stress Ages Your Skin on Dr. Frank Lipman’s website, stress caused by worry causes your body to release cortisol into your bloodstream, which increases oil production leading to oily skin, acne, and rashes. Stress has a negative effect on the barrier of skin leading to water loss and your skin’s inability to repair itself. In addition to all that, stress can lead to weight fluctuation, sleep disturbances, hair loss and brittle nails.

 

Yuck! Thinking about the harmful effects of stress makes me anxious.

 

Take Preventative Measures Now Before It's Too Late 

 

We really don't have time, or brain power for this. So why not start preventing the effects now with things like Serenity Coaching, Yoga, Reiki and Meditation

 

 

Worrying all the time will lead to you aging faster, which will lead to you feeling even more anxious, which will lead to more worry… until the day you die, from worry and stress. Or develop Alzheimer’s so your brain can forget about all the years of fret.

 

All jokes aside, Alzheimer’s is a devastating disease, which has been linked to increased cortisol levels caused by sustained levels of stress throughout life, according to UCI Irvine, The Institute for Memory Impairments and Neurological Disorders.

 

I like my brain just the way it is, thank you.

 

And I’m proud of my laugh lines. Smiling makes me happy and problem solving keeps me young. Why mess with a good thing? Start reducing stress, paying attention to your health, and keeping those frown lines at bay by investing in your well-being like the leading ladies of our times.

 

Leading Ladies Aren’t Shrews, But They Are Selfish Sometimes

 

I help women become the leading ladies of their own lives. And to be a great leading lady you should prioritize your own health. Others look up to you. You are their role model. In many cases, you are teaching an entire generation of young ladies how to be women in a modern volatile world where men like Donald Trump can be elected president.

 

After the devastating election loss, Hilary Clinton was seen hiking in the woods with her hubby.

 

Why?

 

Because self care is important. It was her way of processing and dealing with the tragic blow before facing the scrutiny, shock and depression of her loyal followers. She took a break to reconnect with what was really important to her. It helped her refocus on a new direction. A direction which will hopefully bring her greater happiness, purpose and hope.  

 

 

Michelle Obama, whom I greatly admire, is another woman who clearly takes care of her mental and physical well-being. She eats right, exercises and prioritizes the health and well being of her family before her political obligations.

 

Michelle Obama takes care of herself so she can take care of others. If she wasn’t a balanced and thoughtful person, we wouldn’t have speeches like this one

 

 

With inspirational quotes like, "when they go low, we go high,"  that will stand the test of time. 

 

If You're Not Worrying About Yourself First, Connect With Me

 

If you’re not worrying about yourself, and you still think you can’t schedule yourself in, call me.

 

Right now.

 

Because if you wait too long, this

 

 

 

Will be you.

 

And you won’t achieve the incredible life of peace, love, balance, and bliss that I know you deserve to have.

 

I’m here to support you on your journey. I’m here to help you become the leading lady of your own life.

 

Get in touch with me today so we can create and execute a wellness action plan together.

 

 

 

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©2019 BY KARA-LEE BURKE

Oakville, ON, Canada